Listening ……it is so IMPORTANT

Great article below.

This is so true. In meetings …we can see leaders butting in and not allowing others to finish what they have to say. These leaders have in fact literally shut down their learning process. It is not uncommon that great ideas do come from one’s subordinates. In fact the people on the ground should know best  on improvements to be made and to contribute forward moving ideas.

Hence leaders should and must listen. This is one important way to grow.

Enjoy reading
Willie Low
http://www.passionsofwillie.com

 

 

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Article below by – Dr. C. Otto Scharmer is a senior lecturer at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology.

Listening is probably the most underrated leadership skill. How you listen can be life-changing; not just business- or industry-changing.

At the heart of most examples of colossal leadership failures — which are in no short supply — leaders are often unable to connect with and make sense of the “VUCA” world around them; that is, a world defined by volatility, uncertainty, complexity and ambiguity.

Listening is important to us as individuals, not solely to leaders. If you are not a good listener, there is no way that you can develop real mastery in any discipline.

In my work, the most consistent feedback we have received from the hundreds of workshops, programs and innovation journeys we have facilitated is this: Shifting your mode of listening is life-changing. Shifting how you listen, the way you pay attention, sounds like a really small change.

But here is the thing: Changing how you listen means that you change how you experience relationships and the world. And if you change that, you change, well, everything.

It is truly amazing how quickly people can shift their way of listening and attending. What I mean by “attending” is this: Wherever you put your attention as a leader, as an innovator, as a change maker, or as a parent, that is where the energy of the system around you will go — including your own energy.

But being a leader who listens takes work: practice, review, peer feedback and more practice. To become a better listener, you must understand the four archetypes of listening.

The four types of listening reflect the underlying principles of the opening of the mind, heart and will are:

  1. Dowloading: This type of listening is limited to reconfirming what we already know. Nothing new penetrates our bubble.
  2. Factual listening: We let the data talk to us and notice disconfirming information. Doing this requires opening the mind—that is, the capacity to suspend our habits of judgment.
  3. Empathic listening: We see the situation through the eyes of another. Doing this requires opening the heart: using our feelings and our heart as an organ of tuning in to another person’s view.
  4. Generative listening: We listen for the highest future possibility to show up while holding a space for something new to be born.

When you listen on Level 1, downloading, your attention is not focused on what the other person says but on your own inner commentary. For example, you may be planning what you will say next.

As you cross the threshold from downloading to factual listening (Level 1 to 2), your attention moves from listening to your inner voice to actually listening to the person in front of you. You open up to what is being said.

When you start to cross the threshold from factual to empathic listening (Level 2 to 3), your place of listening shifts from you to the other person. That is, from your small vehicle (the intelligence of your head) to your larger vehicle (the intelligence of your heart). You step into the other person’s perspective. For example, you might think, “Oh, I may not agree, but I can see how she sees this situation.”

Finally, when you cross the threshold from empathic to generative listening (Level 3 to 4), your listening becomes a holding space for bringing something new into reality that wants to be born. You listen with openness to what is unknown and emerging.

What I have learned in my work is that the success of leadership and change work — whether that’s organizational change, industry change or life-changing work — depends on the ability of you, the leader, to observe your quality of listening and to adjust the quality of listening to what is needed in each situation.

 

You ..

Whats important is “WHO YOU ARE”. And let others be who they want to be …….

Goodness ……(to others)

A brief account, said to be quoted by President Xi Jing Peng of China :

When I was a small child , I was very selfish, always grab the best for myself. Slowly, everyone left me and I had no friends. I didn’t think it was my fault but criticize others.

My father gave me 3 sentences to help me in life.

One day, my father cooked 2 bowls of noodles put the 2 bowls on the table. One bowl has one egg on top and the other bowl does not have any egg on top. He said ”My child. You choose. Which bowl do u want”. Eggs were hard to come by those days! Only get to eat eggs during festivals or New Year. Of Cos I chose the bowl with egg! As we started eating. I was congratulating myself on my wise choice/decisision and wallop up the egg. Then to my surprise as my father ate his noodles, there were TWO eggs at the bottom of his bowl beneath the noodes! I regretted so much! And scolded myself for being too hasty in my decision. My father smiled and sad to me, ”My child. You must remember what your eyes see may not be true. If u intent on taking advantage of people, u will end up losing!”

The next day, my father again cooked 2 bowls of noodles: one bowl with an egg on top and the other bowl with no egg on top. Again, he put the two bowls on the table and said to me, ”My child. You choose. Which bowl do u want?” This time I am smarter. I chose the bowl without any egg on top. To my surprise, as I separated the noodles on top, there was not even a single egg at the bottom of the bowl! Again my father smiled and said to me, ”My child, you must not always rely on experiences cos sometimes, life can cheat u or play tricks on u. But u must not be too annoyed or sad, just treat this as learning a lesson .You cannot Learn this from textbooks.

The third day, my father again cooked 2 bowls of noodles, again one bowl with an egg on top and the other bowl with no egg on top. He put the 2 bowls on the table and again said to me, ”My child. You choose. Which bowl do u want?”. This time, I told my father, ”Dad, u choose first. You are the head of the family and contributed the most to the family. ”My father did not decline and chose the bowl with one egg on top. As I eat my bowl of noodles, Sure in my heart that there is no egg inside the bowl. To my surprise! There were TWO eggs at the bottom of the bowl.

My father smiled at me with love in his eyes, ”My child, u must remember!When u think for the good of others, good things will always naturally happen to u!”

I always remember these 3 sentences of my father and lived and do my business accordingly. True enough, my business was a roaring success.

Xi Jing Peng

Niro Design Week 2018

The show begins ……. memories relived, stories to tell, friendship renewed,.
New ideas, new designs, new concept.
Emotions to be touched and moved.

Be real

Sometimes, letting your guard down is a sign of strength.
It’s real. It’s warm. It’s only human.

Sincerity

It is sad that some people just use the BROADCAST function on their WA to send celebration greetings to EVERYONE in their contact list.

Some of their contacts are not even celebrating. Some are even strangers. This simply demonstrates ones sincerity in wishing a loved one vs a friend vs a stranger. Are they all the same ? These wishes do not even have the recipient’s name !! That’s so impersonal.

Greetings are meant to be unique with some emotions and feelings being expressed and not just a cut, paste and send affair.
How can one mean well when one is doing something blindly

?

Humility in 2018

Here we are, year end again.
For many I am sure, 2017 just flew by.

Looking back, what was 2017 all about ?

Have we touched someone ?
Has someone touched and changed us ?
Or have we offended, hurt someone ?
With our words ? Actions ?

We know we are not perfect
We do make mistakes
Yet somehow “sorry” seems to be the hardest word.
By nature, most human beings chose to be defensive
Is it Ego ? Pride ? Circumstances ? Positions ? Ignorance ?

Well, it’s never too late to let our guard down
Especially to people who are dear to us
Family, friends, colleagues, even mere acquaintances.
It’s always admirable to have big heart

To be real and to be apologetic when one is wrong
Then there will be more inner peace, harmony,
love, laughter and even happy tears

For me, 2017 has been a a year of LEARNING
With tears of pain as well as of joy
A year of revelation of behaviors and patterns, mine as well as others.

Thanks to everyone who has been my TEACHER this year

Merry Xmas, happy holidays and have a great 2018 ahead.

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